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amberisntacrayon:

I was at the mall today and overheard this dude talking to two lesbian chicks. I hear him ask, “So which one of you is the guy in your relationship?” And the one girl looks into her pants and says, “It’s not me. How bout you? Are you hiding a dick in there?” Then her girlfriend looks in her pants and says, “Nope, I’m not.” Then the first chick looks at the dude and says, “Hmmm, guess that’s why we are lesbians.” And then I lost my shit.

13 of Gabriel García Márquez' Most Powerful Quotes to Remember Him By

thepoliticalfreakshow:

Colombian novelist and Nobel laureate Gabriel García Márquez, who died Thursday at the age of 87, wrote some of the most beautiful words ever put to paper. If you studied Spanish, if you studied English, if you studied literature of any kind, you likely read some of them. 

Two of his greatest literary achievements were Love in the Time of Choleraand One Hundred Years of Solitude — a novel that some argue contains the mostbeautiful opening sentence of all time: “Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendia was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice.” 

Those beautiful words are only one example of the incredible linguistic and literary legacy García Márquez leaves behind. Considered the father of magical realism and the most important Spanish-language author since Miguel de Cervantes in the 17th century, García Márquez’ powerful impact on the literary world will not be soon forgotten. 

Enjoyed by readers of all generations, García Márquez’ words and language often offer the best advice for young people. Here are some of his greatest insights to carry with you, on life and love. 

1. On existence

"It’s enough for me to be sure that you and I exist at this moment." — One Hundred Years of Solitude 

2. On inspiration

"If I had to give a young writer some advice I would say to write about something that has happened to him; it’s always easy to tell whether a writer is writing about something that has happened to him or something he has read or been told." — The Art of Fiction

3. On children

"She discovered with great delight that one does not love one’s children just because they are one’s children but because of the friendship formed while raising them." — Love in the Time of Cholera

4. On happiness

"No medicine cures what happiness cannot.” 

5. On aging

"It is not true that people stop pursuing dreams because they grow old, they grow old because they stop pursuing dreams.” 

6. On marriage

"The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast." — Love in the Time of Cholera 

7. On memory

"What matters in life is not what happens to you but what you remember and how you remember it.”

8. On regret

"Tell him yes. Even if you are dying of fear, even if you are sorry later, because whatever you do, you will be sorry all the rest of your life if you say no." — Love in the Time of Cholera

9. On memories

"No matter what, nobody can take away the dances you’ve already had." — Memories of My Melancholy Whores

10. On death

"A person doesn’t die when he should but when he can." — One Hundred Years of Solitude

11. On wisdom

"Wisdom comes to us when it can no longer do any good." — Love in the Time of Cholera 

12. On poetry

"He repeated until his dying day that there was no one with more common sense, no stonecutter more obstinate, no manager more lucid or dangerous, that a poet." — Love in the Time of Cholera 

13. On love

"There is always something left to love." —One Hundred Years of Solitude

Source: Elena Sheppard for Policy Mic

Four years ago when Mary Fallin returned from Washington, D.C. and became Governor of Oklahoma, she brought back with her the national GOP platform of policies that place politics over people. The type of policies of extreme mandates that seek to divide us rather than unite us. If you care about the increasingly sharp, four-decade long widening of the income inequality gap across this country, then you must care about what’s happening today in Oklahoma.

Joe Dorman, at Huffington Post: Why I Am Running for Governor of Oklahoma

One more Joe Dorman spam and then I’m done. Did not see this until today.

(via timekiller-s)

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