I was at the mall today and overheard this dude talking to two lesbian chicks. I hear him ask, “So which one of you is the guy in your relationship?” And the one girl looks into her pants and says, “It’s not me. How bout you? Are you hiding a dick in there?” Then her girlfriend looks in her pants and says, “Nope, I’m not.” Then the first chick looks at the dude and says, “Hmmm, guess that’s why we are lesbians.” And then I lost my shit.
Colombian novelist and Nobel laureate Gabriel García Márquez, who died Thursday at the age of 87, wrote some of the most beautiful words ever put to paper. If you studied Spanish, if you studied English, if you studied literature of any kind, you likely read some of them.
Two of his greatest literary achievements were Love in the Time of Choleraand One Hundred Years of Solitude — a novel that some argue contains the mostbeautiful opening sentence of all time: “Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendia was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice.”
Those beautiful words are only one example of the incredible linguistic and literary legacy García Márquez leaves behind. Considered the father of magical realism and the most important Spanish-language author since Miguel de Cervantes in the 17th century, García Márquez’ powerful impact on the literary world will not be soon forgotten.
Enjoyed by readers of all generations, García Márquez’ words and language often offer the best advice for young people. Here are some of his greatest insights to carry with you, on life and love.
1. On existence
"It’s enough for me to be sure that you and I exist at this moment." — One Hundred Years of Solitude
2. On inspiration
"If I had to give a young writer some advice I would say to write about something that has happened to him; it’s always easy to tell whether a writer is writing about something that has happened to him or something he has read or been told." — The Art of Fiction
3. On children
"She discovered with great delight that one does not love one’s children just because they are one’s children but because of the friendship formed while raising them." — Love in the Time of Cholera
“Four years ago when Mary Fallin returned from Washington, D.C. and became Governor of Oklahoma, she brought back with her the national GOP platform of policies that place politics over people. The type of policies of extreme mandates that seek to divide us rather than unite us. If you care about the increasingly sharp, four-decade long widening of the income inequality gap across this country, then you must care about what’s happening today in Oklahoma.”—
I’ve seen a couple of horror town compilation posts going around, but most of the time they have the same few towns in them, and there are so many horror towns that are awesome but no one knows about them
Here’s a list, with names (to the best of my knowledge), a small description, the code, and the language.
Aika Village: The classic. Try and find out what happened to a girl and her doll on her birthday. 2600-0218-7298, Japanese.
Hitokui: Dress as a cop or a bride and investigate a cafe, a church, and a shrine, if you’ve got the stomach for it. 2600-1856-4772, Japanese.
Aniville: Dress as a student as you investigate a mass suicide. 4800-2398-3734, English.
Schachipanda/Killer Panda/Druggy Village: Go into the mind of a girl, her sister, and a killer. 2100-9784-7385, Japanese.
Harudin: Visit a town loaded with symbolism based on North Korea. 1900-0190-0083, Japanese.
Diablo: Visit a grisly town full of artists. 3200-0330-2755, Japanese.
LSD: Visit a somewhat unnerving but at times darkly humorous town. 1300-0108-1523, Japanese.
Covah: Uncover an expedition to Egypt gone terribly wrong. 6700-2770-9418, English.
Kotori Bako: Dive into the minds of a mother and her husband and find out what vicious deed they committed. 1100-0907-3801, Japanese.
Amonia: Join a group of students as the decide to play with a found doll. 7800-2773-1392, English.
Faleisha: Investigate the bizarre murder of a young man and the circumstances behind it. 5000-2746-7773
Murasaka: Uncover a conspiracy to destroy a girl’s life. 5500-2839-9384, English.
Nasari: Everything seems fine, until you walk into the last house. 2000-1259-8879, Japanese.
Cherry: Investigate a murder/suicide in a town where a girl keeps telling you to run away as fast as you can. 5900-1388-9382, Korean.
Bloody Eye Town: Visit a town covered in images telling the story of a girl and murder. 1700-0121-0396, Japanese.
Callia: Uncover the origins of the murderous doll that plagues these dreams. 7900-2582-9532, English.
Haven: The members of the church insist everything is okay, but you aren’t so sure. 4900-2598-0061, English.
Fahville: Visit a boy’s memories, a dead woman’s mind, and a classy hotel to find out what lies in the town’s heart of darkness. 4900-2785-4830, English.
Void: Help a ghost woman uncover her skeleton. 5800-2261-2914, English.
Okinawa: Two sisters meet an evil spirit and suffer the consequences. 5400-2462-3584, English.
WW2 Town: A bizarre town that mixes history, gaming, and gore. 3100-0532-9089, Japanese.
Machine: Try to find out why a girl won’t stop apologizing, over and over… 4400-2183-4489, English.
Moonveil: When families fight, heads will roll. 4800-2133-1994, English.
Lavender Town: Two young dead girls warn you not to go into a certain house, but you can’t resist it, can you? 5400-2974-5606, English.
Marshall Town: Visit a town inhabited by someone with a disturbing obsession with Marshall. 1900-0445-3218, Japanese.
Glimmer: Explore a mansion haunted by the ghost of an angry father. 6500-2309-3621, English.
Mumville: Find out why two girls are giving out an ominous warning. 5500-2225-4784, English.
Danger: A town told mostly outside rather and indoors. Talk to two soldiers and try to figure out what they’re fighting against. 4100-2447-8702, English.
Pumkindo: A creepy-cute town filled with cute pumpkins and horrible bloodshed. 7800-2453-2752, English.
Whaleway: There’s no blood, no gore, just a mysterious clock that can grant wishes… 5200-2292-8287.
RainCity: A girl moves into a seemingly abandoned house and a young gardener is forced to do something she doesn’t want to do. 4400-3006-3749, English.
Tiramisu: Don’t be late for the funeral. 6400-2707-7706, English.
Milani: Sometimes, infinite money and a life of luxury can be dangerous. 4100-2802-1949, English.
Leafoak: Watch your step. Be careful. Especially in the cemetery… 5000-3256-5458, English.
Sangcivi: Visit the strange and unsettling rooms of the town, including a strange hospital and a bedroom with emerald walls. Tu Fui Ego Eris. 6500-2177-6203, English.
Checkers: Only one house is scary… but one wonders what’s on the back wall… 5200-2423-0064, English.
Derp: Immortality is impossible to achieve… isn’t it? 4400-2495-4840, English.
Cuteland: Visit a prestigious girl’s school, where a young woman has recently gone missing. The headmistress seems like a sweet woman, and she’d love to take you in… 5700-2259-7519
Onett: This is my own town. Visit a beloved Prince’s castle and the houses of his people, and remember what they say-‘Long may he reign’. 4900-2331-7412, English.
This list will be updated periodically.
I have visited nearly all of these towns. To see my exploration of them, visit this link: http://fuckyeahassortedstuff.tumblr.com/tagged/assortedstuff-dream-suite-adventure
This must be the most beautiful DIY tutorial I have ever seen. And it so happens to be in style of this weekend. Found on Ulicam, a very nice blog by Ulrika Kestere, photographer and illustrator. For the whole tutorial and lot’s of inspiration, click here.
me:i summon hazelnut latte in attack position. i activate the magic card "size grande" and apply it to my coffee. hazelnut latte allows me to special summon a cheese danish from the dessert section and set it in defense position. i set credit card face down and end my turn.
“I have no fear of losing you, for you aren’t an object of my property, or anyone else’s. I love you as you are, without attachment, without fears, without conditions, without egoism, trying not to absorb you. I love you freely because I love your freedom, as well as mine.”—Anthony de Mello (via slychedelic)
when i was little i actually questioned why girls were supposed to cross their legs and when i was told “because boys will look up your skirt” i said “then tell boys not to look up our skirts” and my grandma got really angry with me but my uncle thought i was great and gave me a high five
Imagine having braces during the apocalypse. no one can take your braces off. And you just have to accept that you’ll have braces forever.
i want a novel focused around a character with braces during the apocalypse and the entire plot of the story revolves around their search for an orthodontist who is still alive and they sort of accidentally save the world in the process